Melancholy

The weather here in AZ is beautiful. It makes me wanna sit outside and read for some reason. Tonight I'm making Lemon Basil Drumstick Chicken!! =) Thats all for now...

Oh wait;;

Keep In touch with my Artist..

Twitter.com/NdotAdot
Myspace.com/NdotAdot
Facebook.com/NdotAdot
Imeem.com/ndotadot
NdotAdotBUSINESS@gmail.com

Ciao..

& This is Life.

Well well,look who came to play *Waves* HIIII!! I have, in my eyes, have been making big changes in my life. Right now, I'm in class trying to concentrate, but, it has been a struggle with the new busy life.

Me;;
So, as I've said before, I've had an opportunity to start up with this music thing. I now currently, manage a hip hop group of 5 Young men who's genre is more of the in-the-now, a girl who I go WAY back with who can sing AND rap lyrical ish! She's more of a Lauryn Hill type, which i love!, and in the works with a new artist who is from Brooklyn and i can truly say he is a young HOV! These artists all bring something different to the table. I've been really working hard to get everyone where they need to be in this industry time line. I haven't been sleeping the way that i need to which I'm sure is not healthy. School has been going great. It's been flying by so FAST! But I'm sure it has a lot to do with the little breaks I've been taking in class to catch up on sleep. SMH at me. Hmm... Oh yeah!! I have been meeting SO many new people who are amazing in their own way. I'm glad to have met all the people i have, and look forward to all the people that i will in the future. My personal life, I can only brush up on, has been going great! I've been going on a few dates, but no one to actually catch my eye, which is completely fine. =)


At Home;;
Things are better than ever; For all of us, which is the first time I can truly say and not have to think twice. My oldest sister Karen has been speaking to me about how to change for the better and pretty much telling me to learn from the people who are around me and the mistakes they run into. I always look to her first when somethings on my mind. Here's a few things I'm working on inspired by her: (No certain order) Treating my youngest sister from my dad's side way better. How my bond with her needs to be better. Next, getting to where i need to be with the industry. Setting goals for myself is the main reason that made me want to write this. There are certain things i want to do, but haven't been motivated to do. I need to work on that.. One of which include getting on here!

Life is like riding a bicycle. You don't fall off unless you plan to stop peddling.-- Claude Pepper

Bye!

Neglected

Well lately i have been busy;; This weekend i made it up to LA and let me say it was an amazing weekend! I got to meet one of the most illest lyricst in the game;; His name being Ras Kass was actually a cool guy! The stuff that he spits is really sick. I got to see many old friends and even got a new tattoo! I had a few opportunitys open up which i will later speak about when i know more about it; But yea!

I havent been able to blog much but i will most deff start! As for everything else, I've been working out a lot more and actually i'm seeing results;; I want to be 120 which is my new goal; I'v been going to the gym and makin it to the soccer feild; When i get to where i wanna be i'll post pictures

Oh and the most important thing is i cutt my hair!! look!







You like?

well off to bed! will post tomorrow

Messababyy

Found;;

Since the last time I wrote, I was lost trying to find myself;; You all will be glad to know that I have been found! =) Any who let me update you!

I broke up with the guy which you guys know;; I kept the deal and realized that all he was after was the $$.. I know I know you told me already but you know me;; I had to hit my head a few times lol;; Well thats for the love life;; I've been single for like 3 Months!! Happy?

Next is school, proudly done with it and movin on to other things. Bigger and better is all i'm looking for in life. Hmm what else, ohh I am closer to my sisters now than ever. They are my backbone;; We are currently in San Jose, California which is really great;; I'm tellin you its the best. So i have been found! Anywho, I'm the happiest i've been and have recently picked up some new kicks out here;; You all will see soon!!

But for now here are some of the things i've been doin out here in the bayy';; Enjoy';;;













Those were all in thee city in San Fransisco at pier 39;;

messabby

Rain rain go away.. Not really raining. lol

Today is one of them days where I really don’t feel like doing anything!
Here at Greenway, as well as Apollo High School, we have a thing called late start. It gives us a chance to get all caught up with our work from 7:30- 9:00 am. We go in and make up or bring up in my case any work we need. Well this week I’ve been slacken’ a little, but I’ll be back to normal. So I did exactly this, woke up, took a body shower, hair up, backpack on and left! I got here right at 8:50 am and now I’m just here. So spring break was uberly fun. I figured 2 things out; my brother Daniel and his beautiful girlfriend Ana are the coolest persons to walk the planet. I spent the whole week with them, watched movies, ate and even drank a tad bit! Lol. But any who, Ana invited me to a baby shower which was great! But what the best part was 1 movie. So the hype about Twilight was not really my scene. I’ve never been into the science fiction stuff. Like Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings and Pirates of the Caribbean. So when the hype was up, I kind of ignored it. Well at the baby shower which happened to be the day after the movie Twilight came out, Ana suggests that we watch it. So with nothing else to do I comply. We start and you have no idea how much I got into it. I was about 3 centimeters away from the television! Ha. Throughout the movie I screamed “GO TEAM EDWARD!” typical me. Any who I am anticipating reading the book. I’ve put it on hold at the library and it’s ready to be picked up! Very exciting! And uhm what else has been happening? Hmm. Well I’ve been spending some time with my beau, aka BF. We went to go see 2 movies already. And get this everyone, I didn’t have to pay! He covered the whole thing! Great right. What a change. He’s listening more, understanding me more and even smiling more. I’m on the search of a new job, one where I can actually see myself working at for more than 2 weeks. Exciting. Other than that I’ve been staying close to my paternal family! Although I do miss Lily! Lol since im spending time with my fam, I really haven’t been over. But I have NOT FORGOT her. Lol.

So the time is 11:15 am and im in class taking my time, reading a new book I got called the Little Bee... I will let you all know how it is. And right now that’s about it. Im learning to accept the fact that I will always be imperfect, and im so fine with that. =)


Chow,

Messa
Xoxo

For daddy to read.

I love you dad.. keep reading Life Lessons

You may have thought I didn't see,
Or that I hadn't heard,
Life lessons that you taught to me,
But I got every word.
Perhaps you thought I missed it all,
And that we'd grow apart,
But Dad, I picked up everything,
It's written on my heart.
Without you, Dad, I wouldn't be
The (woman)(man) I am today;
You built a strong foundation
No one can take away.
I've grown up with your values,
And I'm very glad I did;
So here's to you, dear father,
From your forever grateful kid.
By Joanna Fuchs

and theres another one about you.

Possessed..

Today is a cold cold day. I’m currently in school, but have no motivation to do anything other than write what I’m feeling. I don’t know what I feel actually. Lately, I’ve been thinking, what the heck am I going to do with my life? Am I going to grow up and get a career? I mean graduation is right around the corner, what next? I’m very nervous about the future. I honestly am. Will I make it? Will I succeed? I have a lot of flaws I need to work out by the time I enter the real world. The “working for everything I have” world. The “I don’t care if your late your fired” world. The “wondering, will this be all I’ll amount to?” world. The “how can I make things better” world. And last but not least, “the will I survive on my own” world. I’m going to name my flaws; 1. I DO NOT know how to save money. Honestly, the only reason I have money saved right now, is because someone else has it holding it, otherwise, it would have been spent. 2. Sometimes (most) I cannot motivate myself into doing something I know is good for me. Really, school is so hard, not the lessons or classes the getting up early to go. 3. I look for the easy way out. I try and find out how I can maneuver through the difficult part. 4. I’m afraid to do the “big” things alone. What if I mess it all up? What if I cannot learn to fix the mistakes?
I know it’s not good to point out flaws and your thinking “look at the bright side” but honestly, is there a “bright side?” Are you as a person reading this thinking, “Dang, that’s true?” Because honestly, the government has us trained so well to live in these apartments or homes that are basically little boxes. They train us so well to discriminate, be envious, and go around life thinking “I wish I had this or that.” Not to be preaching, but, come on, I think I would have been perfect if I were living the way Adam and Eve were; Naked with the whole land to eat. Damn snake. I have 10 weeks to go to become an official adult. It’s like everyone is out for themselves. For instance, banks, when you don’t have any more money in your card (debit or credit), they let you spend it anyways, and then when you check a bank statement, it says, “you are insufficient $68.30 from a purchase at Frys Food and Drug store, and now owe $98.30, thanks if you have any questions or concerns, call. Have a nice day, Bank of America.” I would have been fine with the “were friends, take this fruit.” Or how about your cell phone bill, when you have no more minutes, they let you talk anyways, and in the little fine print of the contract It says, “.50 per minute after the first 5 minutes of miss-minute-use.” I would have been fine with just going and getting a can, putting a string to it and attaching the other can to the other side. At least that was fun. Gay. I know I may be rambling, but oh emm gee, we are so accustom to the life the government has made for us, were too blind to see that were possessed. Jesus, I hate this. My mind wanders from one thing to the other. It leads off into its own world. Then that world leads to the next. Life doesn’t make sense. Well this is my thoughts, tell me yours.
But nevertheless, I love my 4 bloggers. Thanks for the ear.

Oh yeah lets do a funny video:
Since I’m at school, I cant post one, but go to Youtube, then type in Huevos Bongos Trilogy, and look at that. Very funny. If you get easily offended, then please don’t.

Change.

Okay so change in plans, instead of Rosarito, were doing it up in Puerto Viarta! Exciting right? I know, I believe we leave on the 12th of March, so yes, very exiting! There have actually been changes happening in my life this whole week! I’ve decided to go out and get another job, but part-time. I want more money ha-ha. So the hunt is defiantly on for that. Hmm, I just want to say, that God is so good to me. I’m truly grateful to him for bringing so many wonderful people to my life. With Lily helping me so much and by her helping me walk through life, advice, laughs, frowns, and even cries, not bad though we laugh so hard we have to pull off the road to cry hahaha! “SLUG BUG, TURN AROUND!!” I believe you are put here on this earth to do at least 2 things, change a persons life which leads to changing a fraction of the world (i.e. you make a murderer change his/her ways and that leads to a little less violence, roll model, lend a helping hand), and to raise beautiful children to do the same. Well Lily has most defiantly done both! Next in line is my Beautiful Grandmother, who deserves nothing short than the best. I wish I had all the money in the world to give her, and honestly, that’s not even enough to show my gratitude. And lastly, is the parents who brought me here! Daddy-yo A.K.A. Poppa Dukes, has taught me so much. Before I was bitter and hated anything and everything about him. But now, it’s my realization that all he did was a method of his to show me a life lesson. Okay so sometimes maybe he did things not seeing it that way, but I learned from it. My daddy is a piece of me. His experiences are what show me how to go on in this cruel life. I know that he had nothing but the best intentions for his little princess. And although he has a new family and lives who knows where, I know he still thinks the world of me and wonders where I’m at. And then my Mother, I can say one thing about her; she’s a strong hard working woman. From here on out, its only getting better.

So on another note; I can’t wait till Kevin comes! Yay! My little compadre! Ha-ha. I think this time were going to finger paint, although, he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty. We once made pizza homemade, and he kept washing his hands ha-ha. But yeah.

So Music for the day?

Back in the day :
Salt&Peppa; Shoop.

New :
Qwote; Leave.